Nerd At The Cool Table

The Cool Table

“F*ck Oprah” (By @AL_Patron)


SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM NERD:  This Man AL Patron is an absolute psycho and his opinion isn’t mine. Anyone affiliated with Oprah that finds this offensive please contact him. I have nothing to do with this mans terrorist activities. I use him for site hits and nothing else. When I get real famous (not fake famous) I wont even contact him ... Read More »

This is all we ask …… Guidelines from the main chick (By @Passport_Cutty)


We CAN’T ASK for you to be faithful…so we have a whole list of other requests. 1. DO  NOT talk shit about me and throw dirt on my name to “HER”…You’re giving the bitch ammo to use against me personally or publicly. Yea she “COULD” be lying but its a shot in the dark for her to know about my ... Read More »

Side N*ggaz of America Association (By @TaxStone)


Side N*ggaz of America Association   These are 10 Rules & Bonds that can never be broken while affiliated to this prestigious fraternity.  1. NEVER reveal your affair.  2. You MUST do everything the husband doesn’t do at home.  3. You MUST strive to satisfy her sexually 3 times better than her man.  4. Massages before EVERY sexual encounter. (unless done ... Read More »

“Who Owns You?” (By @AL_PATRON)


“Just cuz you drove over the Brooklyn Bridge, don’t mean that it’s yours Aubrey…” – @BarDaStar The quote alludes to the delusion & denial Drake is living with when it comes to Fat Jesus’ queen Rihanna. See Drake borrowed her. Bar owns her. This brings me to the subject at hand. One day a few weeks back my brother @RealityyBites ... Read More »


Over the past few weeks on Twitter Vontigo Vernon aka @_VTwizzy has been under scrutiny for what may deem as being a creep. On Saturday November 12th 2011 I volunteered to become young Vontigo’s pseudo big brother, at the behest of @BlueRayDre. As you all know by now, I do it for my community & couldn’t refuse the opportunity to ... Read More »

The Importance of Hoes (By @WhiskeyHandz)

Rhianna… The queen of all hoes. What is a hoe? The term “hoe” is used so loosely these days. Hoe this… hoe that… I’m guilty of it as well… I’ve even called a girl a hoe simply because she ate a bag of funyons in my presence….  Any type of fuckery these days can be considered hoe-tivity. Hoes really catch ... Read More »

The Death of “Him” (By @AL_PATRON & Friends)

“Bitches be on twitter threatening themselves like ‘Let me stop before he kill me’ Who, WHO bitch? Your grandfather?!” – @TAXSTONE  The above quote is another jewel from the Real Rap Radio jeweler. Who exactly is “HIM” I, along with countless others have come to figure that this is Her Imaginary Man or He Isn’t Mine. L:adies your delusion must ... Read More »

“Dream Team” By (@AL_PATRON)

Fellas we are in the midst of an NBA lockout, the 2nd in 12 years under current commissioner David Stern. With the impending threat of the season being completely canceled looming, I have appointed myself commissioner of our own dream league. As men we should all have a roster, cuffing season or not. So the following is a scouting report ... Read More »

Candace Williams: The Fraudulent Football Housewife (By @_TheInfluencer)

*Disclaimer* I never wanted this bogus situation to have to go this far, but when dealing with certain events, you have to deal with it in a certain manner. Also the *** in this post are for the stylist I was working with. I won’t name that person because in this matter they did everything possible to secure my payment ... Read More »

“Blog post about nothing” (By @AL_PATRON)

“Return of the Mack” by Mark Morrison is the greatest song ever composed. He was hurt, scorned & styled on whomever all in under 5 minutes. That has nothing to do with anything but that needed to be put that out there.  Why do people limit themselves? I’m one that believes if another human was able to do something why ... Read More »

“Think like a Hoe, Act like a lady” (By @AL_Patron)

Yes the title is a play on my arch-nemesis…….. Broderick Steven Harvey aka piece of shit. ********************  “Bitch do not call me my nigga, fam or none of that shit. Be a lady!!” – @RealityyBites  The above quote (as ironic as it may be) is a sentiment most men can relate to. This insatiable desire for females to carry on ... Read More »

“Too Many Baby Showers, Not Enough Weddings” (By @NovaGiovanni)

“Too Many Baby Showers, Not Enough Weddings” by @NovaGiovanni Hello, misguided soul. Are you an unemployed and unmotivated baby making machine? Has your lack of knowing the concept of cause & effect led you to have multiple children outside of wedlock? We all make mistakes, even though a child is a blessed mistake. But, looka here – why do you ... Read More »

Bunny Tales

These Stories Are Fictional…only the names have been changed. Read More »

Judge a man by his towels (By @WhiskeyHandz)

When I wrote my blog about the 5 types of black women, I honestly had no idea it would cause so much controversy. Who knew that my simple analysis on black female tendencies  would cause you heauxs to go into a frenzy… Black women came out of the wood works to slander me (Especially the Keyshia Cole Type ones…) “Why don’t ... Read More »

“Eat Me” (By @The__Teacher)

I recently received an email about the best edible treats for bedroom play…… now I don’t know about you but my vagina is very sensitive so I can’t put any and everything on, around or in my va gina!  I tend to shy away from that area when using edible treats….HOWEVER, the rest of the body is fair game. There are many different ways to use food and ... Read More »

“F*ck School” (by @BryanVillone)


The sudden shift in temperature and consistently cloudy forecast has had irreparable consequences and loneliness is thriving. Grown men are telling their newly acquired girlfriends that they love them for the first time, through a text message, with the only response being heartless silence followed by a well-thought-out excuse. But anyway…so as the weather starts to look more and more ... Read More »

“Think Oustide Her Box” (Guest Blog By @AL_Patron)


“Damn baby pussy can’t be your only hustle….” – Kanye West  I disagree with that sentiment wholeheartedly. A female’s pussy, vagina, twat or box can indeed be her only hustle; it’s up to us as men to distinguish the difference in & out of all boxes. The following is our guide in determining such. Like women, box also varies in ... Read More »

Cuffing Season Rules: Don’t Cuff HER

Ever since the homie AL_Patron dropped off “Cuffing Season Rules” our hearts, minds and timelines have been filled with everything Cuff related. Its understandable. There are so many souls looking for nothing more than the chance to prove their greatness. It is with your potential in mind that we encourage you to be careful who you cuff. DONT Cuff HER ... Read More »

F*ck You Friday: End of Summer

The summer came and went….but we are still here stronger than ever. “F*ck You Hurricane Survival Kits” Hurricane Irene got all the attention she was going to get from Nerd At The Cool Table last week. That storm had me shook, I can’t lie. But in all my preparations to get extra gallons of milk and fatboy snacks for when ... Read More »

P*ssy Is Not A Prize (by @ProSTTP)


There seems to be a lot of confusion out there as to how to handle the distribution of pussy. A lot of females are under the impression that pussy should be utilized as a prize, reward, or other form of compensation. Now, I’m usually fond of operating with the logic of a parent trying to discipline a small child, but ... Read More »

J. Crew x New Balance 1400

Spotted these New Balances in the J. Crew September catalog. This collaboration will produce 6 custom colors cooked up by the designers over at J. Crew. Only $130. These are definitely a good look and you can grab them here.   Read More »

Cuffing Season Rules (Guest Blog by @AL_PATRON)

When men ban together & share a collective thought of bravado we’re called “misogynists”. When women gang up & have their bitch fits they call it “empowerment”. See there goes the classic double standard & believe it or not, men are usually the victims and we will no longer allow this abuse. Time for us men to realize we are ... Read More »

The Rules Of Money According to Nasir (By @_TheInfluencer)

I saw a tweet pop up on Twitter about the racial disparity in financial state between Blacks, Whites, and Latinos and it bothered me. After that tweet, I saw a visual of the difference in wealth in households that are Black, White, and Latino. More disturbing. After the break I’m going to give my own opinion on where we stand ... Read More »

Lessons In Manhood……..Never Get White Girl Wasted (Guest Blog by @Regularassron)

Ron vs MD 20/20 I lost…..i lost before I even began. I strolled into the moldiest liquor store in all of new castle, went straight to their poorly lit freezer section and with no hesitation picked up setback in a bottle. MD 20/20. I admit, it wasn’t the classiest decision ive made in recent months but ill be damned if ... Read More »

Young N*gga Music Industry Do’s & Don’ts Pt.1 (by @MetroBoomin)


  Nerd Nash comes through again. Even though young n*ggas these days scare me i’m still willing to throw assist to them. As a good deed for all you young wild n*ggas trying to get into the music biz I got my homie METRO beatz to drop some gems. No…..this isn’t just some random cat that sent me a guest ... Read More »

Why I Don’t Eat Red Lobster (Guest blog by @AL_Patron)

Dating is fun, tedious, complex, entertaining, painful, arousing, & at times scary. Having said that I’ve gone on a few of these awkward social outings society has named dates. I have told a few people these stories, but at this point in my life, where I have established comfort in my own skin, I shall divulge this information for all. ... Read More »

“Theories” (Blog by @AL_Patron)

Disclaimer: An Insomniac who suffers from Narcolepsy. A man determined to be grammatically correct, yet uses every colloquialism in the book. Simple, with more than a touch of complex. That’s @Al_Patron. I am in no way, shape, or form a fan of Steve Harvey(I mean how could I be a fan of a man who fancies himself on preaching to ... Read More »

The “Fuck Boy” Effect (By @NerdAtCoolTable)

“Fuck boy …. Fuck boy … Fuck boy …. Fuck boy” – Rick Ross “Fuck boy … Fuck boy …. Fuck boy … U still a fuck boy!!” – Rick Ross That’s 8 “Fuck boys” in less than 2 full summers. I know the question on everyone’s mind…… “At what point does the fuck boy lead to hands and feet ... Read More »

Nerd At The Cool Table & Wayno Present … D.O.A: Death Of “Angling”

Ight Lets all be adults and Admit we’re all guilty of this , we have all done this but this shit really has to stop. “ANGLING” you got niggas out here who claim to be the toughest on the planet waking up early saturday morning, brushing their hair 100 times, and posing in the mirror for a half hour all ... Read More »

The “Bunny God” Manual: The 8th Deadly Sin (By @FastTimesAtRF)

Over the past few entries, it seems that people assume that every Bunny out here is completely legit to go after. It seems like folks think I’m handing out passes like Socialscope when Ubertwitter went down. But today, I’m here to tell you. HELL NO. This week I had a special guest and we were going to continue our journey ... Read More »

The Ten “Craft” Commandments (Guest Blog by @Liymaveli & @Resolutionary_)

1. No Wave Jacking: Thou shall not partake in felonious wave jacking. When you see another man having success in a certain endeavor by utilizing the unique skills God gave him personally, you’re violating if you copy and paste his swidag onto your life’s untitled document. This goes for dressing as well. That whole Polo from head to toe shit ... Read More »

The “Bunny God” Manual: The Way of Rachael Ray (Guest Blog By @FastTimesAtRF)

Today we’re going to showcase a type of bunny that most brothas should and would appreciate out here. ….. Rachael Ray The PERFECT white woman to wife. As your resident Bunny God, she gets the *Stamp Of Excellence* that I rarely dish out for females. One day on twitter me @Resolutionary_ and @antdeshawn realized we all had the same feeling ... Read More »

The “Bunny God” Manual : Grapes of Fortune (Guest Blog by @FastTimesAtRF)

So here we are with part one of this mini series for you gentleman. I would first like to thank the people for the feedback, positive and negative, with this whole thing. You guys have been great. Alright, enough of the pleasantries, lets get into it. See this? Get your ass to a wine tasting/drinking event immediately. Classy white women ... Read More »

“Bunny God” Manual: The Inroduction (By @FastTimesRF)

As your resident Bunny God, it’s my honor and duty to guide the less knowledgeable of us black men down the path of key wins that get you into the infamous “Winners Circle” It’s interesting to me to see when I tweet or tell another brotha my plans for the evening and they tend to be amazed with the Dave ... Read More »

Lyrical Accountants (Guest Blog By Wayno)

Where Do i Fucking begin…… Ok it goes like this… You’ve ever been on twitter & a new song drops and you got a bunch of niggas on your timeline tweeting and Retweeting about it? Over Analyzing & Nitpicking EVERY fucking thing they would have done or what they “THOUGHT” the song should be? Then you have yourself a “Lyrical ... Read More »

“I Want my old Knicks back yo!” (Guest Blog by @MightyDuxoh)

Now that we’re a few games into the NBA season niggas realized something. Miami ain’t no automatic lock to take it. I said this. Lebron Wade and Bosh did some shit people from the hood who are so competitive they fight over a game of spades and come back to the gambling spot with their gun to get their money ... Read More »

The true ingredients of the McDonalds McRib (Guest Blog by Wayno)


Ok Ok Alright Alright *Shout to @TroyAve If me & @NerdAtCoolTable are known for anything its our outlandish sense of humor & our unorthodox Blogs , which brings us to “The true ingredients of the McRib”. I’ve recently been taking a business class & I’m learning the “Physchographic & the demographic”. How companies target their customers. Since I’ve only found ... Read More »

Guest Blog: Charlamagne Tha God XXL 2011 Freshman class

So it’s that time of year again folks. XXL is about to release their2011 Freshmen class. Who would have thought this cover would become tohip hop what the cover of John Madden is to football. It’s a privelageand honor to be featured and it’s also a curse because some of theseguys either never come out (Saigon, Papoose), they drop albums ... Read More »

“No Country for Charles Hamilton” : The Beginning of the end (Guest Blog by Wayno)

Ok so normal saturday morning september 18th 2010 about 9:30AM On 145th street between 7th & 8th. i decided to take a stroll wit my son. we stop by Dunkin doughnuts while i’m ordering I see something i’ve never in my life…. “Charles Hamilton in Harlem”. Everyone who knows where that is at knows theres a Gas station near by. ... Read More »

NO “REAL HIP HOP” Week Continues…………….What is Hip Hop??? (Guest Blog By Wayno)

its 2010 i repeat its 20 fucking 10″ & i pose this question “What is Hip-Hop? In today’s so called “Rap Game” the average (Hip-Hop) consumer wants his or her everyday rapper to say shit like “Riddle me Penalties cringer me” Fuck outta here with that shit. Me personally i believe there’s a time & place for all kinds of ... Read More »

“No Simping” Week Continues…………..Ron Lov Presents: Stop the Coporate Simping 101

Props to the homie Ron Luv Simping is an epidemic and I blame the tender ass (pause) simpthusiasts who have infiltrated the workplace and made it a breeding ground for this behavior. Simping in the workplace is a bigger monster than most realize. You have niggas buying lunches for some other nigga’s queen. You have dudes who dress like used ... Read More »


“..When You invite The Nerd To the Cool Table, Shit is bound to Break Up like a Pool Table…” -Joe Buddens:”Dear Diary”:Mood Muzik 3 There’s a lot of different opinions in the Blogosphere, Some good and some not so good. Some count and some don’t. Some people care and some don’t, Its a given fact. But then there are the ... Read More »


Alot of people read my blogs…Well, a few people. So in way to give back, im letting my readers guest blog for me. If your interested just get at me and i’ll let you. You can write about any thing u want. I dont give a fuck… So here’s a entry from my homegirl Kimi ….my thoughts on her 5th ... Read More »

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