Nerd At The Cool Table
#Sadderday: Never fall for a free spirit (By @leandrekennedy)

#Sadderday: Never fall for a free spirit (By @leandrekennedy)

First of All S/o Nerd, Bills

Now trust me on this one. A free spirit is the best-worst thing that can happen to you. You might be like me.. barely ever get emotionally involved with people because you don’t want to waste your time. But these women nowadays are tricky. Just listen to how my ex got me…

So I’m over halfway through college, single,  hadn’t really talked to any girls seriously since my high school sweetheart and I had a fall out. I figured since I was going to medical school there was no point in trying anything serious. I would be in a different state in a year so what’s the point?  So of course when you’re not looking for anything, that’s when you find it. This girl was everything I wasn’t. I’m a  college athlete going to school to be a doctor and this girl was going to school to be a music teacher. That’s the definition of polar opposite.. which was probably why I was so attracted. At first when we started talking I was thinking she wouldn’t take me seriously because we were so different, but boy was I wrong. The beginning of the relationship was fun, you know that honeymoon phase right? Talking on the phone almost every night, snapchats, facetiming.. all that good stuff. So here I am, finding myself really enjoying this girl and assuming she feels the same way back so I decide I shouldn’t hold back anymore (mistake). I’m extremely guarded so once I let that down I’m practically a walking heart break waiting to happen.

It all started around Easter. I stayed with her family . I had never spent a holiday with a girl before so to me this was super special. I had really fell for this girl. Once we really had gotten to know each other there were some signs that i never picked up from her that maybe this would not end well. For example….She didn’t really know what she wanted to do with her life. She wanted to travel the world, not settle down. These things are normal for people my age.. but the problem was this: I’m not the typical early 20’s guy. I already have an outline of what i wanted to do and obviously now that I fell for a girl, I wanted her to be apart of my plans. Things started going slightly south there because although I wanted her to be apart of my life for as long as possible I didn’t know how to show it without coming off as demanding. Like I wasn’t trying to marry the girl, I just didn’t want her to leave me. For the first time in my life I was actually scared of being left by somebody and it was weird. I really don’t know what changed in the relationship because we became distant. I think she felt like she needed to be with somebody with the same type of life outlook? idk. All i know is still till this day that’s “bae” in my heart. I know in my head I probably gotta let go but for some reason I can’t. I don’t even know what I did wrong but i feel like for some reason it’s my fault. One night I drunkenly deleted her number and snapchat cause I saw her with a guy on her story so that’s how i know I’m officially at the crazy ex stage in my life. All the people that read this that are still stuck on their ex I feel your pain. Just know that you need to move on. Hell, I need to move on. They don’t want us back… well maybe they do idk. Don’t give up!! don’t let the ignored  calls, read texts and ignored snaps get to you.. she might just be testing you! so keep trying….  who am I kidding. she left me for good 🙁

I hope she reads this.. or maybe her replacement does.

PS. do not ignore the signs

@leandrekennedy

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