Nerd At The Cool Table
She’s gone & she’s never coming back & that’s okay (By @Quinton_Harris)

She’s gone & she’s never coming back & that’s okay (By @Quinton_Harris)

It took me a while to finally make it to this point but I arrived tho & it’s okay. Gonna tell you how I arrived here.

About 2 years ago I received a call from the woman I considered my better half, my rib & I had no clue that she was about to put me in Limbo. I answered the call & from the tone of her voice I knew something was wrong. I asked her if she wanted to go to the movies & BAM she said “I’m sorry but I think we should go our separate ways” my heart dropped to my feet and I started talking like the lil kid from Martin who didn’t want to go to Arizona. I tried over the next 2 months to make her understand that it was a mistake but she wouldn’t take me back. I cut my hair & I stopped eating over those 2 months & my 6 pack turned into a 8 pack with a V because I was losing size. I looked like a fit junkie… Love is crazy….

After the 2 months I fell back & focused on myself & that’s when I realized that even tho I thought I was a good boyfriend to her I wasn’t, I didn’t involve her in my career, didn’t try & indulge into her career or things of interest. I was just doing things I thought was relationship worthy & planning for our future when she wanted to deal with the right now. I didn’t realize I chose my career over her. I’m a writer/editor/comedian & she was only at 1 of my shows because of me. I blew it…She gave me the keys to be the man of the house & I never left the motherfuckin house…smh

Fast forward to a year & a couple of months from that & I decided to try & date again & I’m about to be real honest here..I tried to talk to this girl & things were okay but I found myself looking for my Ex in her so I fucked everything up pretty much…I Got some head from her in a hotel in San Diego, stole a snicker & some vodka from the mini refrigerator & dipped while she was in the shower…sorry Erika… & then met another girl who had a lot of demons from her past, had way too much respect for niggaz I’ve never heard of or cared about. I don’t do Idol God’s so I was like fuck that & also she had trash taste in music “gotdamn music selection was ass, wanted to hang myself with her auxiliary cord”…..At That point I realized I was attracting those women because of who I was @ the time & needed to close a door. So I thought I needed to try & get my ex back because supposedly that was gonna fix things…

So I text her asking if she’d meet me for dinner wanting to rekindle things & she responded back she would but she’s in Taiwan & after some ice breaking she revealed to me that while on vacation back home her mom got sick & they took her to the hospital & found out she has terminal cancer. So now she’s there with her mom & I had to accept that she is probably gone forever & that’s okay. If you have someone special don’t make the mistakes I did, appreciate, learn & listen to her. & if you lost her dawg just make sure there’s no chance & go focus on yourself & find you a Erika to steal snickers from until you bounce back…

Now when I talk with women I might want to date it’s normal again, I’m back!! I’ve thought about dating my 1st American woman but I don’t know because they take relationships as jokes right now & being a Samoan/Blk man I take relationships serious. I’ve always been honest about getting cheated on…I Would never put my hands on a woman but I’d beat the shit out of her father or brother over her cheating on me, would peddle their ass to sleep with this straight jab all because she couldn’t breakup with me respectfully instead of cheating so I don’t know about American women but I’m ready to date again & it’s a refreshing feeling.

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