“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” — Anonymous
Long Distance relationships have been given a bad rap. Ultimately people thrive off of attention, affection, and communication when it comes to relationships. That big 3 has to be consistent if you even plan on developing something long lasting with someone you love that lives long distance.
Theres a weird dynamic about the distance in long distance relationships, Some say if Ihave to hop on a plane it won’t work, if I have to drive more than 30 minutes it won’t work. Neither are a definitive answer on what a long distance relationship is. Love knows no boundaries. If you feel like you can give it a chance, fuck it. Take a risk. Stop holding back because you are scared of hurt or thinking it will be a lost effort. Life is supposed to be about taking risks, and sometime we have to risk our own pride, humility, and gas money for love. Basically just because someone is a plane ride away, or a 2 hour drive up the turn pike, doesn’t mean it can’t work. Leverage that time away to enjoy your time apart, and make considerable efforts and expectations for your relationship. Traveling is fun, and its even better when our going to spend it with someone you like sleeping with.
Living some distance apart can be complicated, but if you are committing to this extremely tough part of a relationship, you have set reasonable expectations. It doesn’t have to be hard, you just gotta make that Hotline Bling. Don’ t be excessive, but you have to set a precedence on how and when you communicate with each other. Don’t go making habits about how you communicate with each other, if you’re not going to stick to it. Have these conversations, make time to see each others faces. We live in a technologically advanced world and it’s not corny to use that technology as a corner stone of communication. FaceTime and Skype dates, Google Hangouts, its all their at your disposal. Use it, if you’re off from work on Thursdays, do this every Thursday in between how you regularly communicate, that makes it special and not over done. You both have something to look forward to and an expectation is set.
When there is distance between people, unfortunately there are so many things to distract us from whats not in front of you, we can fail to keep the attention and excitement in a relationship because of the need for instant gratification and lack the fortitude to just hold out until we see them. So, You gotta be willing to flirt excessively, I’m talking nudes, filth talk, showing a titty over FaceTime never hurt anyone, but in all seriousness these things will definitely increase sexual tension, and a wanting for each other. Keep the lust alive. You went from liking the photos to receiving them, keep the motivation fluid and the content and conversation will remain great. Trust Me.
Trust is the cornerstone in any relationship but it has to be even more prevalent in these types of relationships. Be open and honest about the people you’re around and what you do when they aren’t around. No one likes a surprise, and surprises in long distance relationships only lead to questions that could have been avoided if you were up front and honest about your activities before hand. No one is saying let them keep tabs but keep them aware, call when you get in. This way, your away behavior is synonymous with your behavior when they are around. Don’t do a “switch up”.
Plan out your next visits. If you both live in shitty locations, meet each other for a quick weekend getaway. Southwest always has a deal. Explore new things together. Let these visits and getaways be a way of unlocking new things about each other. Build memories. Build something worth fighting for when the distance becomes a bore or burden. Plus you can get a quick tan in the winter. lol
Last thing I’m going to leave you with, have a goal in mind. Have something you both would like to work toward. If its eventually living together or at least the same state, make efforts towards that. The visits and the face times will hit a peak. At some point someone is going to want something more. Don’t go making long term promises on short term emotions.
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