“I’ma tell you why I’m mad, youknowhatI’msayin? I’ma tell you why
I’m mad. These niggaz is makin five hundred thousand dollar videos, yunusayin? They drivin around in hot cars. They got bitches, they got all that shit. YouknowhatI’msayin? I’m still livin with my MOMS, youknowhatI’msayin? That’s my word. I’m makin records I ain’t made no money yet. This is my fourth album yo, this my FOURTH ALBUM. I ain’t made a dime yet. This nigga made one album, he makin wild records. That Ready to Die shit, it was aight, it was aight, yunumsayin, that shit was aight, it was cool. But my shit is more John Blaze than that! I got John Blaze shit. And they not recognizing, they not sayin I recognize. And fuck is that, who is you to be askin me questions? Who is you?” — a hating ass nigga
This has always been one of my favorite quotes. From the very first time I heard it, it stuck with me. I never forgot it. That is the inner hater that burns deep within all of us. It thrives off of jealousy and greed more and more every single day.
I’m 23 years old and I don’t at all feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be in life. I don’t have my degree yet. I’m not driving around in no fly car. I don’t have a fly bachelor pad. I got less bitches than Kevin Durant. I just all-around suck at life.
Now, I already know what you’re thinking. No 20 something year old has it all figured out, what makes me special? I still have so much life ahead of me to live and figure everything out. What could possibly even make me feel the way that I do? Well, you see, it all stems from this problem I have. A problem a lot of us have actually. A problem that no one ever wants to admit, but it’s fine, I will be the first to do it for the greater good of us all. I don’t know how to focus on myself. I get on the internet everyday and get too caught up in the money other people are spending and start wondering why my pockets don’t look like that. I see the beautiful girls with the big butts and I wonder why I can’t have them. I see the fly shit that’s way out of my budget and wonder why I can’t afford it too. I see niggas playing 2K at midnight on the release date and wonder why I can’t too? Why I gotta wait a week to get my bread up before I can play it? I go out to the club and I see somebody dap up the person at the door and just walk right in and I wonder why I gotta pay my last dub to get in. Why I can’t know somebody at the door too? And that’s when it hit me..
I want to be a comedian when I “grow up.” That is my ultimate goal. Do you want to know why I’m not famous yet or even halfway to that goal? Because late at night when I should be up working my ass off, I’m instead fighting sleep to be on instagram looking at big butt models and a bunch of shit I can’t afford. And I have no one to blame for that but myself. I’m not where I want to be in life because I don’t focus on myself nowhere near as much as I should. I’m not where I want to be in life because I’m way too worried about what everybody else is doing and what everybody else got and where everybody else is in life instead of working my way to where/what I want to be.
Starting by the time I publish this blog, I will no longer inconvenience myself by worrying about what everybody else has going on. I no longer care than I’m not where Jay-Z was at in life when he was my age. Nigga, life is clearly letting me know that I’m not Jay-Z. And guess what? Neither are you. I’m exactly where I need to be in life and if you’re alive then you are too. And if you feel like you need to be somewhere else in life? Then just get up and do something about it. Show the world you got some John Blaze shit of your own. And if it’s John Blaze enough then they’ll fuck with it, they’ll have no choice to. And if they don’t? No worries. You’ll be way too busy working hard and focusing on yourself to ever even notice.
Sn: Before I go, I just wanna say thanks to Nerd Nash for starting the Focus on Yourself wave. It has inspired me in ways I never felt were possible before. Shouts to him man. Y’all be safe and don’t wear condoms if you don’t have to. Peace.
SEND YOUR GUEST BLOG TO NERDNASH@GMAIL.COM