Nerd At The Cool Table
Why Older women are great (By @Bazzquiat)

Why Older women are great (By @Bazzquiat)

This is my first time writing for other people to see beyond reports to my college professors in about 3 or 4 years; I wanted to start it off with a deep quote or a fascinating epithet to portray my intelligence and great writing skills but nothing felt cool enough or flashy enough that I would get crowned as the next Edgar Allen Poe so we will jump right into it.  Dating older women is the greatest thing ever. Now I could just end this right here and I would be completely right and there shouldn’t be any arguments but if Nerd publishes this it’ll end up on Twitter and Trolls will Troll so the defendant will present evidence to validate my point to hopefully lessen the backlash.

There are multiple ways to have this “healthy discourse” politically correct way of saying debate because multiple people in our society have collectively decided that debates are bad but that’s for another day. The first way is the debate I would have with the trolls who assume that saying dating older women is dope means that there is something wrong with young girls; I’m not, if you’ve gotten this far and caught yourself already having that debate ask yourself, what parameters have I set? Speaking of which I should probably say how old I’m talking when I say older, I’m 22 my Girlfriend aka bae aka most amazing woman ever (I think I’ve done enough ass kissing for in case she reads this and assumes I’m calling her old I won’t have to sleep on the couch NW winters are cold I love you babe) anyway what I consider Older is 3 years or more and less than 10 because that’s slightly creepy but I ain’t gonna lie I done seen some fine 60 year olds at the Baptist church march that happened downtown by my office. But back to my point the debate I’m willing to have is not who is better older vs younger but why Older women are great.

Reason 1:

You will learn all the shit that you need to know to be great in life, they really double as teachers as long as you can put the bruised ego that will happen during the learning process aside you are set.

Reason 2:

Conversations about your goals will likely take place over celebrity gossip, try talking to a 19-21-year-old about your goals and what you’re going to do to achieve them might rival death by 1000 paper cuts.

Reason 3:

They are clear about what they want and don’t want: as young men we aren’t stupid but we tend to not know better sometimes, let’s just say if both people don’t know what they want or how to express themselves in a relationship after the honeymoon phase it’ll feel like another world war during each and every argument.

Reason 4:

You’ll get introduced to shit that makes your homeboys call you “washed up” that you will really really enjoy, 3 weeks ago if you told me spending a Saturday night inside drinking wine and eating Swiss chocolates while watching the haves and the have nots was on the itinerary instead of Henny and pineapple at the bar playing wingman to my boys with ditzy women while remaining faithful cuz black men don’t cheat I’d call you all types of crazy…I did it…I enjoyed it so much that I suggested that it become a monthly thing.

Reason 5:

They might kill you but it won’t be from bar hoping 3 nights a week and spending the other 4 turning up. Don’t get me wrong they will still do fun stuff and turning up depending on your relationship will happen but you won’t have to rub icy hot on your legs cuz they cramp randomly and your mom or any other person who cares about your well being won’t ask if you’re sick because you look unhealthy every time they see you.

I think a great way to wrap this up would be for me to explain how its not age that is determining factor but instead maturity and how maturity is gained through experiences blah blah blah but Eve ate the apple and we all got free will so shout out to the older women who love us and treat us right, forward all your “you are looking for a mom instead of a girlfriend” type of responses to your drafts and not to my mentions Jah Bless ye all.

*****

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