Nerd At The Cool Table
It’s His loss (By @ChinkBaeB)

It’s His loss (By @ChinkBaeB)

So let me guess… they left you.  They no longer needed you & now you’re sitting there stuck.  You’re hurting, depending on how much you loved them; you might feel like you can’t breathe.  You’re replaying everything back in your head, every word spoken and every action made.  You start thinking about all the things down to the small things, literally, everything.

You’re overwhelmed with emotions. You’re mad, sad, disgusted, pissed but most of ALL, you’re disappointed in yourself.  You saw the red flags but chose to move forward & see the good in them.  Your inner self told you NO, let it go but you still believed every word they spoke.  Ok, so maybe you didn’t but you loved them and of course, they loved you, right? Yeah, they wouldn’t hurt you.

You turn on Beyoncé’s “Why don’t you love me”.  You’re asking yourself what you did wrong.  What you did to deserve this.  Shitttttt, you even start questioning what you didn’t do enough of.  Well maybe I wasn’t enough of this, wasn’t enough of that.  Silly you, always so selfless, always blaming yourself.  You’re always making excuses, giving chances, forever giving all of you to others & not enough to YOURSELF. When will you stop?

When will you stop beating yourself up & second-guessing yourself because one person couldn’t see the Queen in you?  Did you ever stop & think that maybe you were too good?  Maybe, it just wasn’t meant to be & this was just another lesson? Maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t you?

Rihanna said “Tryna fix your issues w/ a bad b*tch… you needed me.”

(Disclaimer: I’m Queen).

As fucked up as it may be… sometimes you’re just a trophy. You’re something to do when there’s nothing to do. You’re comfort. You’re safety. You’re love. You’re the sun & the stars; you’re that fill in for that void they’re missing in their life.  You make them feel good, shit… *giggles* you make them feel great.  You’re there when they need you.  You make them forget.  You make them feel sane.

You’re all that is good for a person, who is no good for you. They may have loved you but baby, things change, feelings change & people change too. Life has a funny way of things & people go their separate ways.  They needed you & they no longer do.  It wasn’t you, it was never meant to be you.  It was just your time & that’s ok.  Stop blaming yourself for the actions and dishonesty of others.  Stop taking everything so personal.

Don’t you go cold or numb.  Don’t try to hide your feelings by turning into these so called savages.  Don’t you ever lose the good in you.  Keep on loving.  Keep on being selfless, just be more aware.  Most importantly, STOP blaming yourself.

Yes love, yes, it’s tearing you apart but look at the bright side… it didn’t kill you.  Let that be enough comfort, you dodged a bullet. Now go on & keep that heart golden Queen.

*****

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