Something that younger me and a lot of my not as emotionally developed friends and acquaintances currently suffer or have been victims of the ideology that putting in effort with a woman or doing something nice for her either makes you “whipped” or you are tricking. I am way too young and haven’t lived enough to know where this logic comes from but I believe it’s because we don’t have all the knowledge and I’ve came up with a few tidbits that I think will help.
The money you are spending is helping you…you aren’t spending it for her.
One thing that I’ve noticed from my time as a dude who thought buying a girl a candy bar was tricking is that I thought it was the money spent that made her happy; now before I go any further yes there are those women who want you to spend because they are more enthralled by your money than you, these tidbits don’t apply to them because you will in fact be tricking. Back to my original thought most women value the time and the thought and the effort that you put in to impress them, spending a few dollars on your part helps facilitate that process think about it spending the time listening to her nag on about karla from HR being a nosy bitch is way easier to do over a meal that you’ve prepped for her that cost $35 at Safeway than just sitting there trying to really be into the story and knowing who is who at her office.
Some other guy will gladly do it.
You read this and thought to yourself, “I don’t want no B*tch that another nigga can impress with money” She isn’t impressed by his money fam. Unless your girl gave birth to 8 pound black Jesus if you being cheap and not at least making the effort to make her feel spoiled once every blue moon (I am assuming she is a good woman because she’s your girl and if you are with a girl that you don’t deem a good woman worthy of being spoiled I can’t help you b) some other dude will do what is necessary to make her feel special and at night when she has a fight with you she gonna listen to I should’ve cheated by Keisha Cole and ask herself if you care about her more than him.
The “big homie” you want to impress by treating your girl like a pimp treats his hoes not worth it.
That sentence alone is enough, as a man don’t treat your girl in such a manner that it’s obvious you are doing it to impress another man who will gladly dirty mack you and pipe your girl it’s not normal.
It will attract other women.
Alright yes I am a piece of shit and you certainly are also if you treat your woman right for this purpose but doing nice things for your girl will attract the girl who spends hours on the relationship goals hashtag before she goes to sleep. I can go into the psychology of this and whatnot but I am not here for that just know there are women out there, especially her friends, who sees the nice things you do for/with her and want you.
I know this will not completely change your mind and I also know that women play a role in this and that often times they don’t encourage you to treat them well but take what you can from this and ignore the rest.
Peace light love & blessings.
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