Life is different. We have become society obsessed with the small electronic devices that document our lives daily. Our lifestyle appendages; iPhones, Droids, and Tablets, have all become our new right hands and hold the key to each of our own secret lives. The camera phone has changed everything about our personalities. The self consciousness that Kanye rapped about on “All Falls Down” is totally personified in each one of us. We use our phones to kraft the idea of who we are from our online profiles, to even the way we date. Some of us won’t even date someone with a particular phone, thats crazy. But one thing these precious devices did give us, is a new aspect of dating thats grasped us all, and thats the intimate picture message, in other words, yes I’m talking about “The Nude”.
Who doesn’t love a good nude though? It’s an art form that some women have perfected and want to share with a select few. They are awesome, they make us feel good. Who doesn’t like opening their phone to a surprise message from a young lady they’re interested in, I mean it’s incredible. If we’re being real, it’s nothing new, I’ve heard stories from older homies about nudes they would get on polaroids back in the day. This game is deep. Just the way we received them has changed, because now it’s more personal. And just as personal as it is, there seems to be a lot of discussion about leaking and shaming, which ironically go hand in hand. Let me paint the scenario for you. Chick likes dude, and we move on to the finessing of the text message conversations by you to her, more importantly, the ones of lust, and she sends a text accompanied by a naked image of herself, because she’s comfortable with you to the point where she wants to send a notion of her vulnerability in hopes it will increase sexual tension between you guys. In reality, she’s doing us a favor. But somehow, somewhere down the line these intimate photos end up a topic of discussion to your homeboys or your twitter timeline because you got hurt. My nigga what are you doing?
From 2014, til’ now I saw a lot of social media shaming aimed at women who had their nudes and videos leaked to the public, either by hurt boyfriends or hackers looking for a peep show or access to something they felt would bring them some type of masochistic joy. Whether its Amber Rose, Kate Upton or even a more recent social media star YesJulz, many women have felt targeted by their own technology or people that they thought were supposed to protect something sacred they shared with certain individuals. Plain and simple, whether it’s a video or a simple text message, the hacking and the leaking has fucked the game up for those who do protect this culture. She made those angles for you, and you just let it loose for critiques and a few RT’s. All this does is create an insecurity among women — a reality that they cant participate in something so great, because you don’t know how to hold your emotions and discretions about her. Please do better.
Not only has the leaking of the nude fucked the game up, we forgot about our responsibility to be her cheerleader. If this is something you appreciate from your girl, you can’t lower your level of engagement. Even if she slips up and takes a wack nude, give her the same encouragement Pippen gave Jordan during his 97’ Flu Game. Because once you change your response, her immediate thought is that it wasn’t fire. Women are highly critical of themselves. We have to participate in maintaining a level support and participation you would want from someone doing something to benefit you. Women pride themselves on being able to take awesome pictures of themselves. I for one, support it. I think all women should find themselves beautiful. Selfie or a nude, they go hand in hand. They are the home run in building a relationship in a text savvy world. Don’t discourage women from being great at this with disparaging slander and lack of enjoyment.
All in all, women are sacred beings, as James Brown has said, “this is a man’s world, but its nothing without a woman or a girl”, And our inboxes are only as popping as the nudes we receive. If you appreciate the women who are great at what they do, protect them from the shame, show them they are appreciated by not ruining something thats meant to be so beautiful for the rest of us.
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