Madden just hit the shelves. Do you know what that means ladies? Yep, it’s that time of year again. The NFL is BACK.
Do you want your man home a little more than usual? Buy him Madden. Make your relationship stronger.
Okay, now back to the topic at hand.
The smell of pigskin and jerseys seem to be circulating through your heating and cooling system, as it should be. Top 3 things your man dedicated to happens on Sundays. A GREAT man Dedicated to his bible app, NFL Channels, & Sunday dinners. Don’t try to slither your way into the equation with womanly needs unless they contribute to manly wants during Sunday’s viewings. Sundays are the time of year when it is “Do it yourself” days from 12:00pm -12:00am.
Do you see your window of opportunity?
Ladies, here are the top 5 tips to help you survive the NFL season with your significant other.
5. Complete Household Duties Early- You’ve had from wake up call to noon to get what you needed to be done from us. Don’t insult us by asking us to complete manual labor while Shannon Sharpe stutters out the most important Keys to the game. Yes, Pregame counts too! Foreplay counts for y’all right?
4. Develop a Football Spirit- It’s a bonus to have a favorite team you actually follow. No man wants to hear why you watch football, other than a players ratings on Madden not matching the actual player’s abilities. The “I love the way he looks In a Uniform” will get you on #TeamMiMiFaust faster than a Tom Brady No-Huddle. Bet with your man. Make the game interesting. Something you both will like.
3. Don’t Interrupt the Game- DON’T EVER DO THIS! This should be number 1. Even during commercial breaks, it’s not the time to talk. Oh, and don’t insult us with sex. In a committed relationship, sex is going be there whenever. We aren’t missing anything.
Unless you can be Karrine Steffans and get it done before the first Ford Truck commercial done. Leave us alone, or you won’t be mad that I finish during a 30-second timeout. We can pencil something in then or at halftime. MAYBE halftime, because we want to see what’s going on around the league.
2.Control the Environment- I have a daughter. Chances are there are kids around. If not, God blessed your Sundaymornings. Kids running amuck in the asylum only makes it tough to focus on your favorite football team. Restore some order in the home, and put the kids on a schedule. There is nothing worse than loud kids and toys being thrown at the flat screen because their home training is inactive.
1. Don’t Mock a Team’s Loss- This time of year, we will trade YOU for a win. Don’t think it’s sweet just because the game’s over. We lose, your responsibility as a partner in the relationship goes up. You will be awakened at midnightfor “special attention” to lessen the sting of his spirit being decimated. Don’t fight it. Just keep the love canal ready for dives.
You follow these rules, your relationship will barely change and make it stronger through the tumultuous winter.
Remember, get lonely and ready for some Football.
Until next time, This ain’t a Sub-blog. Let the @’s land where they may be.
God Bless you all!