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Quick Little Gems Dealing With Single Moms (@TonyTuss)

Quick Little Gems Dealing With Single Moms (@TonyTuss)

*Disclaimer: I’m not glorifying being a single mother, I wouldn’t dare disrespect #TheWoke*

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Some men look at single moms as having baggage and others can look past the kid. I’ve been on both sides of the fence, sometimes a kid was a deal breaker and other times I pushed the stroller like Russell Wilson. Anyway here’s a few gems on dating single moms .

Fruit Snacks and Juice Boxes: Before you wife her make sure to check her cabinets and fridge for the blue box of Welch’s fruit snacks and Capri Suns. Any single mom who has these two delicacies in her house is usually a keeper.

Meeting Her Kid: It’s always tricky meeting her kid too soon because you never want to feel like a microwaveable step daddy. You also don’t want to get too invested without finding out if he’s destined to play quarterback or the cymbals on Friday nights.

Funny Name: If her kid has a funny name like Barkevious or De’Runnya it’s not necessarily a bad thing. 70% of the top SEC recruits have funny names because a man wasn’t present in the delivery room. If you decide to play step daddy it is your responsibility to lie to him and say his funny name means “Great Athlete” in African dialect.

Haircuts: If her kid has a funny haircut or cornrows that’s usually a sign she has a crazy baby daddy. Single moms who keep their kid’s haircuts simple and neat usually come with little drama. If her kid has dreads he probably runs a 4.51 and is on Mel Kiper’s 2026 mock draft board.

Stud Athlete: One way to find out if she is worth dating is by throwing her son a post corner and testing his athletic ability. Chances are you were going to pass down your JV genes to your offspring, so being a step daddy to a future SEC recruit increases your chances of crying on national tv when Roger Goodell calls his name on draft night.

School: You always hear about women dropping out of school because they got pregnant. Single moms who go back to school and finish are superhuman. A woman who can juggle work, motherhood and school while dating you is worth joining the step daddy fraternity.

Clingy: A single mom handling her business shouldn’t have time to sweat you. If her kid is clingy…Let’s just say Young Metro wouldn’t trust her.

Outfits: The clothes she wears will let you know if she’s a devoted mother or still in the “Mommy need a life too” phase. On the flip side, she will dress her kid like a kid or like the man she wants to meet. Stay away from the single moms who dress their son like rappers.

Drives An Altima: Ever since Nissan changed the body of the Altima in 03-04 single moms have flocked to this vehicle. The look of the car lets you know she likes the finer things, but is economical and lives within her means. In the south the new body Impala is making its case, but as we stand today the Altima is the official car of single moms.

Crazy Baby Daddy: “I had to smash lil shawty with my jeans on and my pistol in my pocket, can’t trust none of these b*tches gotta be cautious” – Future gave us the blueprint to dealing with single moms during the honeymoon stage. If you don’t have proof her baby daddy is serving life, keep your head on a swivel and always assume he’s lurking in the shadows.

Side Note: If you date a single mom keep her away from personal trainers, barbers, Pop Warner and AAU coaches because they all prey on single moms in distress

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