Most people feel quite helpless after a break-up because they don’t know what to do with the sudden freedom they have now in their life. Pain is a prolonged delusion one has of being powerless about the situation.
The most beautiful things in life happen through change. To lose someone you adore can be devastating. If you actually think about it, it’s not the partner that you miss, but you miss the kind of person you were around them. You lost a part of yourself that you were fond of; your partner just helped you see the beauty which is already in you. It’s like losing your spectacles and now everything you see about you is hazy and uncertain. You lose sight of the best side of you and this cloud of confusion is the reason behind all the pain and suffering.
Break-ups can be a way to transform your pain into power. Most people feel quite helpless after a break-up because they don’t know what to do with the sudden freedom they have now in their life. Pain is a prolonged delusion one has of being powerless about the situation. You give power to things you’re attached to and we have attachments with our dreams, our idea of the person we love, our idea of who we are, our physical needs and our emotional needs, which surface after a break-up. The sooner you accept how life is a journey of continuous change in events, things, ideas, people and scenarios, the faster you realize how inconsequential it is to be attached to anything at all.
Post a break-up, you learn to have a better relationship with yourself and the world around you. It’s a fresh start, a way to find your voice, a new dream, a new reality. It’s like moving to a new place. You can be anything you want here. It teaches you to be humble and have more empathy towards people as you realize how change is inevitable for everyone. All the pent-up anger, pain and confusion is just momentary, you will eventually move to a better understanding of yourself, your ex-partner and the world.
It’s like Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with with powdered gold. Your broken heart heals with new dreams, new ideas, new perceptions of what life can be. Look closely and you realize that the things you learn after a break-up are beautiful and actually makes your life worthwhile.
The Power of Detachment
You learn to love without being attached. This comes from great deal of unlearning one’s ideas of love. You are more in sync with yourself, you have a better understanding of who you are and are less likely to be lost in a relationship in the future.
The Power to Rebuild
You have the power to create your life the way you want. To move past any setback is to have something to look forward to. You tend to enjoy every moment doing things that make you happy, without having to seek approval or feel guilty about doing what you truly love to do.
The Power of Love
You’ve been through the depths of despair knowing how it feels to not be loved. You learn the importance of it through it’s absence. So you tend to value love more and spread more of it to the world around. You start to appreciate the many forms that love comes in and learn to cherish each one.
You tend to be more understanding of people around you, as you come to accept your own mistakes from the past. You come to realize that everyone’s trying to make their way through life and no one’s perfect, this in turn helps you become more patient with the people who come and go in your life.
The Power of Gratitude
Everything in life happens for a reason – and gratitude is the way to understand those reasons. Post your break-up, you’ll realize that you’ve grown as a human being. And by seeing what you’ve gained through what you’ve lost, you start to appreciate the little things that life has to offer and how important it is to be thankful for it.
“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”
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