Nerd At The Cool Table
The Dark Side of the Relocation (By @TonyTuss)

The Dark Side of the Relocation (By @TonyTuss)

So you took a vacation to a Miami, ATL or LA and had the time of your life!  The clubs were dope, the weather was perfect and everyone showed you love. You get home and your local spots can’t match LIV on Sunday, Magic City Monday or Greystone. So like a dope fiend you’re moving through the city chasing that Hollywood high. Now before you tell your boss to go fuck himself, break off your relationship and grab a one-way ticket to paradise, let’s examine the darker side of the relocation that almost never gets told.

 Suze Orman says you should have an emergency fund that covers at least 6 months worth of living expenses. So unless you don’t mind living in the projects of these popular destinations you might want to buy a pound of mids with the 3K you saved and flip it a few times. The problem with relocating after visiting over long weekends is it’s a false representation of the city. People are so thirst to put “ATL/Miami/LA” in their Twitter bio they don’t take into account the job market, cost of living, social scene etc. People with aspirations of becoming the next basketball wife, urban model or video vixen board buses, trains and planes to relocate to these popular locations everyday b. These cities are oversaturated with beautiful people with no skill set so the jobs that don’t require a degree like bartending, bottle service and waiting tables are competitive. If you are lucky enough to find a job making good tips, as the beauty fades so does your job security.  There will always be a younger group of aspirers waiting in the wings to get you out of there.

 Everyone talks about the cost of living in the south is cheaper and it is on average. But if you want to live where the action is you will pay for location like anywhere else. Sure you can find $400/month 2 bedroom apartments in the south but it won’t be on South Beach or in Buckhead. It will be in the Pork and Bean or Mechanicsville where you have to sleep with the chopper to protect your flat screen. Minimum wage is relative to cost of living so if rent is low so will your hourly wage. The reason adult entertainment is flourishing in these cities is because females relocate without a plan and don’t want to work for $5.50/hr so they end up on the pole or backpage.

 On vacation you stayed in a 5 star hotel, drank Ciroc with Diddy and went on $200 dates. Now you are living in the slums of Shaolin sleeping on an air mattress and eating Oodles of Noodles sandwiches.  When you become a resident of these places your hoe radius begins to shrink and eventually you become just another cute face in the club with high mileage box.  By the time you realize the niggas aint shit movement is nationwide, the dude you moved to be with will not answer your calls because he owes you money. Now you are alone in a new city with only 2 options, either tweet thru it or swallow your pride. Not everyone goes through the relocation struggle, but I’m here to tell you it is very authentic!

Moral: If you are going to relocate do it for the right reasons and do your research. People will leave a good situation to relocate to a new city with popping clubs only to live 1 level above homeless… Don’t be that person! By all means spread your wings and expand your horizons but make sure you weigh the risk vs reward so you don’t end up bartering your yams in the DM for rent money.

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