In this day and age, you pretty much have to have a hard to get in, but easy to get out policy… sort of like a hotel at night. You can’t get in without a keycard, but you just have to push the doors to get out. It should be tougher for a woman to get in a relationship with you than it should be for her to leave.
NEVER hold a woman hostage.
If she wants to go, you have to graciously accept that and keep it pushing. The key behind all of this is to never get too attached and to come with the expectation that the woman can leave at any time. This is something you have to accept and believe and build your life around. This is why you never make a woman priority number 1. Just look at the situation with the rapper Freddie P, who killed himself after suffering heartbreak. It was a truly tragic situation. This is why knowledge like this is important, especially for you younger cats. With the way morals are in this day and age, you’re likely to see and experience a lot with ‘your girl’ that you really don’t want to. If you are prepared for it in advance, you can largely limit the extent that it affects you.
Focus on building yourself up, not trying to win some woman
You’ve heard the saying among those dating advice circles that ‘you are the prize.’ A lot of cats have no idea what in the world that means. They think it means falsely adapting some cocky attitude. What it really means is that you build yourself up to the extent that women want to win your attention. You are out there so fly that a woman would love to be yours. You have to put yourself in a position to where women want to win you, and that starts by sharpening yourself up in all aspects of your life and simply making sure that your time and affection are valued.
This is in stark contrast to the longly-promoted simp notions of ‘winning a woman’. When you attempt to win a woman, it means you are attempting to impress her in order to garner her attention. A woman should want YOUR attention as opposed to you pining for hers. When you attempt to ‘win a woman’, it means you come into your dealings with her assuming that she is better than you and that you need to compensate by offering her dinner, jewels or whatever else goodies you want to stuff in her pocket. Men who fall in this latter category are NOT respected and get taken advantage more times than not. When dealing with a woman, you have to understand that women prefer to deal with a man that she looks UP to, not one that she is looking down on and that attempts to bring himself ‘up to her level’ by agreeing with her all the time, defending her nonsense, and giving her money and other physical compensation.
Oh and another thing…..
Never operate based on what pleases a female. Operate based on your principles and your own TASTES.
If you ever find yourself asking questions like, “What colognes do the ladies like? What clothes do the ladies like?”, you’re doing it wrong. In these scenarios you are building your self-esteem and worth based on some imagined concept of what ‘women like’, and thus, you aren’t leading, but rather allowing yourself to be led.
First and foremost, it’s impossible to recommend ‘what women like’ because all kinds of women like different things. That’s like a woman asking a question, “What food do men like?” You can’t really answer that because tastes are so varied. Second, the only way to truly be confident is to base your confidence on something that is consistent and KNOWABLE… what is knowable is what YOU like. If you base how you dress, what you smell like, etc., on some ambiguous concept as, “What women like,” you will always be shifting around and never confident because you’re allowing yourself to be defined by some external force. Now what you CAN do is get a recommendation from a woman, and see if you like it, and if you dig it, you get it, and if you don’t, you don’t. The key is to be solid in your own choices and tastes and then express them. That way you are actually catching a woman that is interested in YOU and not some ‘ladies man’ illusion you are trying to project. Like what you like and stop shifting around trying to follow trends on ‘what the ladies think is hot.’ Much more important is you being able to look in the mirror and smiling to yourself on the inside while thinking, “Man, I’m looking sharp today.” That REAL confidence will actually project and the side benefit is women will pick up on it.