Nerd At The Cool Table
Nightmares From The Night Shift: @SPANKmeLATERR

Nightmares From The Night Shift: @SPANKmeLATERR

Working 12am-8am sounds sweet  huh? Well me thinking since I’m forever alone and one of my very few issues in life is falling asleep by myself  that this was the PERFECT job for me… at the time I thought that baby jesus himself started this concierge jump off just for my light skinned ass. I soon realized that, even with my lack of sleep at night time, that this shift was A LOT deeper than just working while the rest of the world is either getting f*cked, cheated on or dreaming about things that will never come to life….and it was gonna ruin more than just my sleeping pattern.

I’d like to think of myself as someone that isn’t too wild. Im 21, light skinned with no kids, no boyfran, a few fake ones but they don’t really count… I have a great personality…… sh!t why does this sound like an ad for craigslist? Anyway, my whole point is I enjoy going out and I really can’t name one thing that can hold me back from doing that. The start of this new job is slowly but surely the end of all good things tho. Others working the graveyard shift are worried about sleeping during the day and having to force themselves to stay up at night, pst that’s half my issue. WHAT ABOUT YOUR SANITY, how are you supposed to be OK with not going out? Who raised you heathens?

My work schedule basically says “f*ck you spank, f*ck your night life and f*ck everything you stand for”. I work every night BUT Thursday and Saturday. NOW to some people they’re probably thinking “WOW AWESOME, why aren’t you happy?”. Main reason why I don’t associate myself with most of you f*cks is because that is not “awesome”. The best nights to go out in DC are Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays, muthaf*cking Stadium Wednesdays and Park on Fridays. Now…. Let me know what days I work again? Oh ok… I swear this job was placed on this earth to turn me into a non partying ass female. My ex probably set this sh!t up honestly.. He hated my ways… But nah, not happening.. I cant stop, wont stop, not on my watch, NOPE not yet.

Now, you’re probably thinking “really spank, you’re working overnight, getting paid good, and all you’re worried about is partying? What about your rest, what about your lack of sleep affecting your health?” well, I’m here to tell you to shut the f*ck up because in my eyes having a good drunk night >>>>>> sleep.  JUDGE ME. Do you understand how sick to my stomach I get knowing that people are out listening to Trinidad James and taking shots of cold ass Hennessey while standing on couches, and I’m sitting here behind a computer watching old videos on joebuddentv… This isn’t the life I thought I’d be living

I can function just fine with only a few hours of sleep, I think everybody should be able to do so. You weren’t placed here to sleep your life away, even though being able to sleep in is one of the greatest things next to getting head from the back…. call me whatever you want, I like to call myself a human that knows how to have a good time. I get off work… Don’t fall asleep til around 12pm, rest my pretty brown eyes til about 4pm. I wake up angry as sh!t at the world because of the fact they can sleep while the sun is down. I stay up til around 6ish just to fall asleep and dream about being in a crowded club shaking my fake dreads to trap music. But again I wake up, just wanting to say f*ck it, put my cutest heels on my feet, with my job uniform, calling in and saying im gonna be “a lil late”.. But every day, like clockwork, I’m on time.. like a slave girl… man, low-key someone with ties to Hitler or sh!t even the spawn of satan must of invented the third shift…

-spanky mcfarland

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