Walk into a store, take whatever you want, and walk out. Just because it’s on their shelves doesn’t mean they own it. How do you know they didn’t steal it from somewhere else? If anyone questions you, ask them to see an inventory list. If they show you the list, apologize for the misunderstanding and leave.
Try and initiate sex with your girl if you’re ever alone with her and one of her female friends. If she accepts the sex, that means her and her friend are comfortable enough with each other that a threesome is in the realm of possibility. If she denies you, she should know by now you’re kind of a creep and she won’t get that mad at you. Low risk. High reward.
Go to Atlantic City, trade your money in for chips of multiple denominations and bring them home. Study these chips and replicate them down to the finest detail. Go back to Atlantic City. Spend a few hours playing some table games to make it look like you’re out here grinding. Curse under your breath every now and then when you lose. Be modest when you win. Be regular. You don’t want to draw too much attention to yourself. After a few hours, head to the cashier and mix in some fake chips with real chips. Preferably the smaller denominations. If you don’t get hauled off to the back and beat up by security, you’ve lived to scam another day and can start mixing in bigger denominations. Anytime I’ve ever cashed in chips at a casino, they’ve never been inspected. The cashier counts what you gave them and gives you the cash. No questions asked. And don’t feel bad if you get away with it; a casino is one big scam anyway. They expect people to do this. They just don’t want to know about it, so do them the courtesy of crafting believable casino chips. Running a scam on a scam is fair moral ground.
Open up an American Express charge card or pretty much any credit card with no spending limit. Buy a house on this card and never pay it back. Now you are owner of the house and the only thing the credit card company can do to you is hurt your credit score. They can’t seize any of your assets. You opened up a credit card, not a mortgage. They expect people not to pay back their credit cards. That’s why they came up with the phrase “write it off.” Now take your free house and turn it into a rental property.
If you’ve followed any of my Questionable Advice and haven’t gone to jail or been killed by your girlfriend, you should have made a decent amount of money by now. Don’t save any of it. Buy a lot of things. Things you can’t make yourself. Can you build a car? If not, don’t just buy one car, buy two. Can you synthesize gasoline? Stock up. In the event that a situation arises where money is rendered useless, such as an apocalypse, everybody with a strong sense of self who ignored material possessions is going to be upset when you drive by in a car full of luxuries and all they have is their self respect.
