“Hoe Foods” 3 is here. The end of a legendary trilogy aimed to highlight the women who are eating and drinking like hoes, warn fellas of the signs their queen just doesn’t care anymore and motivate women to put more respectable foods into their body.
I’m not doing this to judge, I’m doing this because I care. Well, I am slightly judging but look past that.
Here’s 10 more “Hoe Foods”….. don’t lie to yourself, you know which ones you love to indulge in.
10. Any Type of Hamburger from a bar
Bad enough you’re slamming back yuengling but you’re eating a hamburger with it? C’mon sweetheart, treat your insides with some respect. You going to be lonely forever eating blue cheese burgers at your local bar. Miley Cyrus cut all her hair off but I bet she doesn’t eat hamburgers at the bar.
9. Egg Rolls
My heart skips a beat any time I see a gorgeous women sink her teeth into a egg roll. Why you think the china man give you a free one with your combo? The sh!t ain’t no good. I don’t even know all the stuff that goes into a eggroll, I didn’t research and it may be healthy for you but still….it just looks ratchet. Leave the egg rolls alone.
8. Vodka Infused Gummy Bears
For what reason would a woman want this? Just get drunk off vodka. Vodka infused Gummy bears is just too extra and it’s nothing hoes love more than to be extra. Homegirl better not get within arms reach of me with some goddamn gummy bears dipped in Vodka.
7. Iced Coffee
The whole idea of cold coffee is some hoe sh!t. Yall know how I feel about Milk…This is 50 times wacker than milk. Coffee with ice is for hoes.
6. Duck Sauce
Fellas, if your queen pulls out a pack of duck sauce you better instantly plot on cheating on her. It’s #1 among struggle sauces. Just watching her bite open a pack like a animal is enough to ruin the night.
5. Pasta Salad
If you look it up on Google it’s a proven scientific act that hoes love Pasta salad. Hoes love BBQ’s right? And what’s the #1 go to dish at a BBQ? See.
4. Shrimp Cocktail
The “Fake Fancy” hoe meal. She’ll eat this and instantly instagram it. Plan your escape as soon as this happens my brother. Trust me on this.
3. Loaded Baked Potato
No lusty, freaky sex acts are performed on women who just finished eating a baked potato filled with cheese, bacon, sour cream, chives and butter. She’ll be exhausted and who know’s what that box will taste like.
2. Fried Mac & Cheese Balls
You at dinner, wine glass, nice setting, good vibe and then she bites into one of these and cheese squirts, drips out of it and messes your whole mood up. Bad b*tches don’t have time for all that.
1. Powdered Donuts
When a woman indulges in powdered donuts she’s given up on being classy. So give up on her.