The worst part about working night shift has nothing to do with your actual workplace. The truth is, it makes you realize that when it comes to getting your sleep in the daytime, your friends and family do not give a f*ck. As soon as youre deepest asleep, everybody you know is entering the peak of their day and this is when they like to make plans, be social, and see how they’re fam and friends are. Thats cool and all, but what the F*ck! Leave me out of it!…If had a dollar for everytime i was asleep and got a phone call from one of my homies who just wanted to see ‘whats up?’ I would have enough money to not be working this punk ass shift in the first place…’WHATS UP?!…ME NIGGA!! thanks for asking.

Now the easy solution to this problem would be to just turn off your phone right? Wrong!!…why? because you never know what could happen. Emergencies come by surprise and the last thing you need is to be the guy who was available to help but had his phone off all day. ‘Regular’ people who work in the daytime and sleep at night dont understand or have this problem because when they sleeping, everybody who could possibly have an emergency situation already done took their own asses to sleep as well. Ain’t shit gon happen, yall can sleep easy. This sucks because added to the fact that you’re working the same hours as Count Chocula and Batman, when you do get some sleep its never peacefull and you wake up tired as a motherf*cker anyway.

Dont get me started on the ” ‘since your home’ could you babysit” requests either.  (sorry sis i still dont mind babysitting because i love the kids and they low maintenance but it really does suck)

Man this sh!t wack as f*ck! When my job decided to build an overnight team bout four months ago I was one of the first five d!ck heads to sign up and here’s all the dumb sh!t I told myself ……

“my nigga you don’t sleep at night anyway you up til 5am on DM Boulevard textin these freaks”

“real n!ggas don’t need sleep you nap for 3hrs & proceed”

“why would you wanna be out in that daytime sun anyway sleep in the day wild out at night”

Stupid sh!t!

First off, I work retail and now that there’s an overnight team no one in the daytime does anything cause they think f*ck it there’s a night crew for that and when I come in at night they always got an excuse as to why the place is a mess. Second,  even tho the store is closed they still think we gonna follow a dress code so everyday when I take my shirt off &work in my v-neck my manager wanna tell me some non-sense bout “dressing professional”

On break I call my fake gf and every time she hits me with the fake half sleep voice. F*ck that hoe! So I hang up and f*ck wit the females at my job but these b!tches all seem dirty to me and it’s no condom season so it’s irritating. I mean they give half ass lap dances and grab my d!ck but I refuse to buy condoms & I’m not in JHS so I’m not with the grabbing ass tits & p*ssy but never f*cking.

Wait did I mention my fake gf cooking is horrible so I buy food every night. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find decent food at 4am?! When I get off at 8am I have to ride the train with school kids and well we all know how that is.

I did this night sh!t thinking it was gonna be dope and it’s everything but I don’t drive my whip. I’m losing all my side hoes, my weekends off is one day off and all my friends having the time of their life while my coworkers are becoming my friends. Man f*ck overnight shift. I’m one week away from saying f*ck it, buying 3 gallons of water and fucking this co worker but that’s not gonna get rid of my sadness is it?

I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore Wednesday is Thursday, Thursday is Monday, I can’t fall asleep, a nigga still always late for work ….. man this sh!t wack as f*ck

**SEND YOUR NIGHT SHIFT RANT TO NERDNASH@GMAIL.COM**