The Body Jewelry Hypothesis is a proposed explanation for the relation between body jewelry and sexual preference phenomena. With this hypothesis, I state that said jewelry predicates said sexual behavior and/or likes. We will take a few examples of certain body jewelry and predict what they say about a woman’s sexual tastes.
Without further ado, The Body Jewelry Hypothesis:
Tongue Rings- She’s a Tease
-You think that ball on your tongue is going to entice me and have me saying misogynistic things that will make you uncomfortable don’t you? Well it’s not. I’m up on game. While you were getting your tongue pierced you were prolly at the parlor thinking, “I hope they don’t think I like sucking d!ck.” Yeah, that was you. You can miss me with that tongue ring, because saying a tongue ring makes head feel better is like saying light up shoes make you run faster. Beat it, you were just following the trend.
Eyebrow Rings- She’s Bi
-Facial piercings usually indicate that you’re a free spirit. Most free spirits like to live life to the fullest and experience everything, forbidden or not. One of these things is sex with other women, because you’re a bad girl and liberated spirit. No problem with that, I just want to know one thing…
“Are you taking applications for third wheels?”
Lip Rings- She’s a HeadMaster
-Now lip rings on the other hand are a clear indicator that you want me to know what that mouth do. See lip rings are tricky. You may have just gotten it because you wanted to draw more attention to your lips or because you are a great kisser. Either way you view your mouth as a sensuous attribute and I can appreciate that. Because great kissers usually grow up to be even better d!ck suckers. In this instance, I want you to be all you can be.
Waistbeads- She’s a Rider
-I’ve had the opportunity to meet three young ladies(that I can recall) that had waistbeads. Two that I slept with and one that I did not. Two out of three is 66%, so technically I have a 66% percent chance of being right about this one and those are good odds. Chicks with waistbeads are true d!ckriders. Usually Afrocentric or Caribbean jawns have waistbeads and if you know anything about african/carribean women they take pride in riding d!ck. You’d think those waistbeads were hoola hoops the way those chicks grind on the d!ck. If you see one, grab her by her waistbeads and force her to ride you for some jollof rice.
Clit Peircing- She’s Not Bout That life
-This is funny because many sexual novices would say, she has to be a freak if she has her clit pierced. Ah, I don’t agree. Pussy is a neon light all of it’s on and doesn’t need any extra signs to draw attention to it. But that’s what clit rings are for- attention. However, any true multi-orgasmic being is not going to risk losing sensitivity to her cl!t for some jewelry, she’s just not. Clit piercings are usually worn by chicks that think it’s cute and/or strippers. Feel me? maybe not.
Back piercings- She Likes Backshots
-My first mind is telling me that you guys just are following the trend. Next week, it will be bullrings(my bad that’s this weeks trend). But women that I know with back piercings love to be f^cked from the back and want to make it an experience for any man that wants to saddle up and ride that p^ssy. I get it, make him bus fast from all of the visual over sensory, trickery and wizardry you got going on back there.
Nipple rings- She Likes to Please
-Chicks that get nipple rings get them because they think they’re sexy. Why do they think they’re sexy? Because men think they’re sexy. If a chick has nipple rings you can pretty much bet she’s just a pleaser at heart and wants you to face her and suck her titties when ya’ll f^ck. Those nipple rings are just positive reinforcement in the bedroom for romantic banter.
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