Fellas. In the war on love we have a new enemy. Not an overbearing father. Not an annoying ex-boyfriend who sends her endless Facebook messages & texts. Nor is the new enemy a sister who hasn’t had a man since 2004 & she tries to keep you from getting any sex.

This new enemy is the villainous television network known as Investigation Discovery.

“Investigation Discovery is the Lifetime network for the Mentally unstable woman.” – @NerdAtCoolTable

Whoever the program director is over there must be the definition of crazy & not sexy crazy, I’m talking crazy crazy. This channel is almost a blueprint for our ladies to ruin & dare I say take our lives. Think about “The Hand That Rocks The Cradle” & “Misery” and other “this bitch is crazy” movies to understand the psyche that went into creating these genre of shows.

Let’s take a closer look at some of the shows on this dastardly network:

• Deadly Women - A show about, well, deadly women that carry out intricate plots to take out you & your mistress. Scary shit.

• Snapped - One of the more popular series among our women. Essentially about women who’ve had enough & “react” but this reaction is usually an absolute overreaction that leads to the demise of men. Disgusting shit.

• Disappeared - Obviously about women who make their men disappear & end up disappearing themselves. Awful shit.

• Hostage: Do or Die – About females who abduct & hold their men hostage whilst going about their day to day activities like nothing is afoot. Unbelievable shit.

• I (Almost) Got Away With It - Basically a show about how these women committed these heinous acts & “almost” got away with it. Despicable shit.

• Scorned: Love Kills - A show you can’t watch with the lights off, Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers have NOTHING on the fury of a woman scorned. Do NOT watch this show, I won’t even describe it bro. Spooky shit of the highest order.

• Wicked Attraction - More or less a show about how females get men to do whatever they want by using their feminine ways to commit the most atrocious crimes. Think about Adam & Eve. Remember the devil was once an angel, these women will flip sides on you.

I ask that you take the initiative of blocking this channel & all it’s sister stations. Call your local cable provider & make arrangements if you must but I implore to please get this done.

In addition do not EVER let your lady watch “Cheaters”, I promise you your lady will stare at you all night with the most disgust & utter accusations that’ll have you feeling guilty for even sleeping with her. Then you’ll wake up & she’ll be watching you sleep & ask what your dream was about. I’ve been through some things, don’t judge me.

As always in closing please don’t argue with strangers, Eli manning doesn’t & we all know he’s elite. Be elite.