A few days I tweeted about being able to tell alot about a person by their recent emoji section. For example, if you have the eggplant emoji in the first row of your recent emoji section it’s a big chance you’re a hoe. Then a idea hit me. How about I have chicks email me a screen shot of their recent emoji section, I’ll read it and tell them about themselves …like a palm reader does. Genius. Weird, lame shit that only I would think of, but genius, right? Right.
Instantly My email was flooded with over 200 screen shots of recent emojis. So…Every few days I’ll be reading 3 or 4 recent emojis. From now on call me Nerd The Recent Emoji Reader.
Lets get this started………
Well Nadia, from your recent emoji’s I can see your emotions have been very up and down lately. Some sad faces sprinkled in with some crying laughing emoji’s prove this. One day you’re in a good mood and the next day you’re miserable. Get it together. I see you have a little bit of a love life. 2 heart emojis. I see a eggplant and the “p*ssy” emoji all the way at the end of the recents…this tells me you’re not having as much sex as you need.
Nadia…Work on keeping your emotions under control and confront your “him” about the lack of sex in yall relationship.
The heart on the first row shows me you’re a very loving person. The thumps up tells me things are going good right now but sometimes things get overwhelming…the 2 stress faces show this. You do a little bit of drinking and you love to go out and dance and have a good time. The mic tells me music is a part of your life. I’m seeing that you sing a little too.
Cherish…Relax. You’re loved. Stop stressing and enjoy yourself a little more.
Lay off on all the goddamn snacks. Cakes….ice cream…water ice. It’s not good for you and it’s keeping you from getting in shape like you planned. You’re thinking about messing around with white boys. Go ahead. People will judge you but who cares. Do what makes you happy. The red face emoji shows me you may be somewhat of a brat/bitch. You’re spoiled and you’re mad when you can’t get your way. That has to end.
Tasha…Get your attitude under control. Getting a white boy won’t change anything. It’s not black men, it’s you. No more junk food. Clean up your eating habits.
**WANT A RECENT EMOJI READING? SEND IT TO NERDNASH@GMAIL.COM**